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SURVIVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Question: "Can a long-distance relationship last for 7 years? What is the absolute maximum number of years that a long-distance relationship can last for?"

Psychic Advice:
A long-distance relationship can last a lifetime, as long as both people continue to enjoy the circumstances of the relationship. There are advantages and disadvantages to long-distance relationships, and some people survive a long distance relationship better than others.

Independent people thrive in long-distance relationships because they get to have the best of both worlds: they can live on their own, doing their own thing in their own way, while also being in a committed loving relationship. However, long-distance relationships are not well suited for those who are extremely affectionate and in need of a lot of attention because they will feel a constant sense of longing and emptiness, which can lead to depression.

One advantage of long-distance relationships is that they allow both people to remain autonomous and independent in their respective lives. Both people can continue to live as they please, maintaining their own lifestyle and habits with no need for the changes or compromises that are often necessary in full co-habitation situations.

Another advantage of long-distance relationships is that they can keep the fires of passion burning brighter and longer. Absence can make the heart grow fonder, so the anticipation of communicating and seeing each other can intensify the rush of excitement, making each time feel like the first time. Familiarity can breed contempt, and those who live together can start taking each other for granted, getting annoyed and nagging one another, and even mistreating each other.

In a long-distance relationship, both parties are usually on their best behavior. Time spent together becomes precious, so it is usually quality time and highly enjoyable. The problem is that you don't get to fully know one another because you are usually experiencing the highs without the lows. The real test of a relationship is being able to love each other during the worst of times, because life is full of ups and downs.

Friendship provides the strongest foundation for an enduring relationship at any distance; if someone is able to be there for you when you need them (in heart and spirit, if not in body), then you have the strength of a true relationship. However, physical distance can be an excuse for emotional distance when the chips are down, in which case, you do not really have a reliable loving relationship, but a fair-weather friend.

A long-distance relationship can last as long as it works for both of you. Obviously, there are things about these circumstances that you are both enjoying, or else one or both of you would take whatever steps are necessary to change the situation. It is best to either accept what is, or change it if you are not happy. Don't waste time feeling angry or frustrated, and don't make demands or ultimatums, which will only push the other person away. Continue to love each other and move toward each other, growing closer and closer over the miles with each passing day.

Question: "I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years and I'm having trouble with trust. I know she loves me and I love her dearly. We have discussed marrying as soon as all the fine details can be taken care of, but my gut instincts are really bothering me, or maybe it's just the problem I have with trust. Am I the problem, or is my distrust warranted?"

Psychic Advice:
Trust and communication are the two major keys to a good relationship, and you build trust through communication. The best way to communicate in long-distance relationships is by telephone, because you can get a deeper feeling of connection to the other person, and get a sense of what is going on with them by hearing the tone of their voice. Although it is more expensive to communicate by phone, the degree of intimacy is priceless.

These days, people often communicate by email because it is free and convenient, however, email is the coldest form of communication, and you cannot get a sense of someone's tone or expression. Because of this, email can be easily misread and misunderstood. It would be far better to write each other letters which convey a lot more energy and intimacy.

It is also wise to spend as much time together as possible before marriage. People who are in long-distance relationships often have fears around commitment, and trust issues are often part of that. The more you get to know the person you love, the more at peace you will feel about taking the next steps in the relationship.

A long distance relationship gives the other person lots of time to be with other people, and it is important to get clear about whether the mistrust and perhaps jealousy you are feeling are coming from your intuition or from your insecurity. Jealousy is not love, it is insecurity, and insecurity is not attractive, but rather pushes people away.

When you speak with the one you love, close your eyes and listen with your heart. Listen for warmth and intimacy in her voice, and a true sense of joy and excitement to be speaking with you, in which case, her heart is with you. If you hear a distance or distraction in her voice, a hesitation or a desire to cut the conversation short and pull away, then there is some type of barrier to your love that is more than simply long distance, and you should ask her about it.

Don't go looking for things to question or mistrust, but trust how you feel in your heart and in your body when you are with her or speaking to her. If your body feels tight and uncomfortable, then something is not right for you, but if you feel warmth and at peace within you, then take the next steps to move closer to each other.

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