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Free Weekly Syndicated
Advice Columns
Published Every Wednesday Afternoon (PST)
THE GIFT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENCE
Enjoying the Holidays with family & Friends
I will resume answering questions in my columns in the New Year.
Time is precious. As life gets busier and more complex, it seems there is always more to do and less time to do it in. We get caught up in the details of life, and sometimes forget to really live. For the past several months, I had been working a great deal and finding little time for the things that were most meaningful to me, like spending time with my mother. I kept hearing the little voice in my head saying, "She won't always be around, you know, you must spend more time with her". But my logical mind stepped in and said, "She's still young, I'll have many years ahead with her and right now, I have so many responsibilities and commitments to other people that I must focus my time on". Of course, my intuition was right, as usual, but my logical mind overrode it. Now that my mother is gone, I am asking myself what is really and truly important in life.
Spending time with those we love is really what life is meant to be about. At the end of a lifetime, no one wishes they had spent more time at work, and at that point, all the toys and trappings of success don't mean anything. The true measure of a successful life is not how much you have attained or achieved, but how much you have loved and enjoyed in life.
The holidays are times when we often get together with friends and family, and these times have become more and more rare in our present western society. It is so easy to allow the holidays to become hectic as we get caught up in "to do lists", rather than enjoying the sacred presence of spending precious time with those we love.
These days, there is a lot of pressure on parents to focus their energy on working all the time so they can give things to their children, but what is most precious to children, and to each of us, is time. As children become adults, they forget the toys and the video games that seemed so important at the moment, but what they will remember forever is the time they spent with their parents, and the quality of that experience.
My own father was rarely present in my childhood. As a corporate executive, he was a always working very hard to create a good life for his children. He left for work before we got up in the morning, and often came home after we went to bed. He spent a great deal of time traveling for business purposes, and I remember waking myself up in the wee hours of the morning just so I could kiss him good-bye. He gave me all that a child could wish for in terms of things and a fine education, but he was rarely around to teach me himself. I don't remember him being there, I just remember him not being there, and now he is no longer here at all, except in spirit. What I remember of my Dad are not the things he gave me, but the moments he gave me, and they were precious to me.
Every day of our lives, we forge lasting memories that define our lifetime. This is why it is essential to determine what is truly important in life, what is most valuable to you, and to commit your time based on making those things your priority. This is how you live a fulfilling and meaningful life without regret. I was blessed to spend a great deal of time with my beautiful mother, more than most people get to do, but I will always regret not listening to my own guidance telling me to spend more time with her in these past few months. I can only hope that the work that I chose to do instead somehow made a difference for other people, which would make that sacrifice worthwhile.
This will be my first Christmas without my mother. I am free to go wherever I want to go on this planet, and yet there is nowhere I would rather be than with her at this time. I hope that if you have taken the time to read this column, it will remind you to take the time to really enjoy being with those you love, for this is the greatest gift in this world. Make the most of your time together, say all the things you've always wanted to say, and make sure you express your love. Laugh often and hug much - there can never be too many hugs or too much laughter in a lifetime. These are the greatest things to indulge in (and as sweet as they are, they have no calories!).
The presents under the tree are tokens of love and appreciation, but it is the presence around the tree that expresses true and lasting love. There is no time like the present to choose to be present, and this is the greatest gift that you can give to others, and to yourself. Enjoy every moment of the holidays, and of the New Year ahead. Make the time of this life memorable, so that when you reach the final moments, you will know that you have lived and loved fully, because that is our sole purpose here.
I wish you profound peace, love, joy and prosperity over the holidays, and throughout 2006, and I will do my best to be of service to All in the coming months.
Copyright ©2005 Grace & Grace Associates Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved
"Responsibility is power. You have the power of choice.
You are always responsible for the choices you make and the actions you take."
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