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"Falling in love with best friends" Psychic Advice Column addresses inquiries such as: what is "best friends love", how to "love best friend" and "how to get over being in love with your best friend" if you are thinking "I'm in love with my best friend".

FALLING IN LOVE WITH BEST FRIENDS

Question #1 : "I think that I might like my best friend. I'm not sure what to do, she doesn't know and I'm scared to tell her. I don't want to ruin our friendship or feel awkward because I don't know where I would be without her. What should I do?"

"Psychic Advice":
Falling in love with best friends can be the most wonderful thing, or the most challenging thing, depending on whether or not those feelings are reciprocated. You need to find out if your best friend feels the same way, but you must proceed very carefully in order to make sure you don't risk sacrificing the friendship.

Falling in love with best friends usually happens gradually over time - the more you get to know that person, the more you come to love that person. Now you must take slow and gentle steps to see if there is a possibility of a relationship beyond your friendship.

The first thing you can do is to try getting closer physically. If you sit very close together and your best friend does not move away, there may be an opening for a closer relationship. Next you can try touching your best friend's arm or leg while you are talking, quickly at first, and each time letting your hand linger for longer periods of time. If your best friend does not pull away from your touch, then you can try holding hands, but do so while you are talking, especially if you are talking about something that excites you. This will be far more subtle and seemingly natural than trying to hold hands in silence, which can be an awkward move that leaves you open to rejection. Keep using these innocent gestures of touch and getting closer together physically until you feel your friend start to reciprocate these gestures.

You can also take some steps verbally by saying things like, "You are a really special person, and I just love how you ____", or "I really love everything about you", or "I love being with you and spending time with you." Starting to put the word "love" into your conversations will allow you to test the water and see how your friend responds to these statements.

You know your best friend better than anyone else does, so start to do little things that you know your friend likes, and gradually increase these gestures. Remember, you must take it very slowly and gently so you don't push your friend away.

If your friend talks about liking other people, avoid the temptation to criticize those people, but ask what kinds of things your friend finds attractive about them. This is a good opportunity to tell your friend how special and lovable she is, and how she should be with someone who will be good to her. Tell her what kind of treatment she should expect from someone who cares about her, and tell her that's what you would do if you were in a relationship with her.

When best friends fall in love with each other, it often creates the foundation for the best relationships, because there is nothing better than sharing your life with your best friend. Best friends tend to have a lot in common, and enjoy many of the same things, so the relationship can be fun, joyful and easy. The delicate part is breaking the ice and taking the friendship to the next level.

If your best friend pulls away or rejects your subtle advances repeatedly, it is an indication that she is not interested in having a relationship with you beyond your friendship. You then face several choices:  you can tell her how you feel outright and risk losing the friendship; you can end the friendship yourself if you can't stand to simply be friends; or you can focus on how to get over being in love with your best friend.

The best way to get over being in love with your best friend is to love that person so much that you just want her to be happy, whatever that means for her. Ask the Universe to support her in her happiness, and to help her to open her eyes and her heart to the ideal partner for her, whether that is you or someone else. Tell the Universe that you are open and willing to attract someone who has many of the qualities you love in your best friend and with whom you can experience love that is wholeheartedly reciprocated. Affirm that you deserve to love and be loved, and so does your best friend.

Question #2 : "I am a student and I know in my heart I have met my soul mate. My only obstacle in our union has been money. This really depresses me, and I have not been able to mention it to him. I worry about the expenses of school and how I will afford it; yet, at the core of my being, I know I can survive off very little. My ego resents paying for trips and entertainment we share. Why, when I love him so much, does my mind obsess over such a trivial, material matter, which I feel is affecting my spirit? Please help me."

"Psychic Advice":
Relationship money problems are not such a trivial matter. Many couples have issues and disagreements over money, which can ultimately end the relationship. The solution is to communicate with one another and make sure that you both understand each other's feelings about money and finances.

Being in school is a huge investment of time, money and energy. You are investing yourself now for your future career and success in life. You are in the process of choosing what you want to do, who you want to be and how you want to live your life.

For many people, being a student involves a lot of sacrifice and commitment. Your time and energy are focused on your studies, and relationship issues can be a painful distraction. By the same token, the joy of being in a relationship can be a welcome relief from arduous studying, so you look forward to sharing time together. However, if the way that you are spending time together is causing you stress because of spending money, you have to speak to him about it because it is affecting your ability to enjoy the relationship.

In our modern age of equality between the sexes, I don't believe that we should expect men to pay for everything. That custom was established when women did not work and could not earn a living for themselves, but I don't believe we should hold men to that expectation anymore. However, it is important for you to tell him that you need to do things together that you can afford to do, and if he wants to do things that are beyond your means, then you would gladly accept him treating you to those things. There are many things that a couple can enjoy that cost little or no money: going for walks on the beach, hiking, picnics in the park, etc.

The real issue here is that you are struggling and sacrificing right now for your future, and you are seeing people around you who may have an easier time or more support than you do (including your boyfriend). Your resentment and depression are stemming from this feeling of fear around your own survival, yet you also have faith in yourself, in your path, and in your ability to survive and even thrive without needing very much. You are suffering because of your feelings regarding your own worth and value, but this is temporary because you are investing your energy now in creating success for your future.

What you want is to feel loved and valued by your boyfriend, and you are measuring that by what he spends on you. What you really need is his emotional support, understanding and compassion for where you are at this time in your life, financially and emotionally.  But you won't give him the chance to give that to you unless you tell him how you're feeling and what you're going through right now. Let him be your friend as well as your boyfriend. Soulmate relationships are about falling in love with best friends.

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