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"ALL MY LIFE, IT'S BEEN ONE BIG STRUGGLE"

Question: "For my whole adult life, I have been unhappy. I have chopped and changed career paths, been in and out of counseling. I struggle with daily life and I resent others because it seems so easy for them. I know that no one has an easy path, but I feel I have known nothing else but struggles. Even when I am presenting a happy face, I feel deep pain, insecurity, self-hate and emptiness. There is so much conflict inside me that I don't know what I really think/believe anymore... in fact, I probably never have known. Do you have any advice?"

Psychic Advice:
When life has been one big struggle, it is important to remember that the greatest struggle that we face in life is with our own self, and we have the power to stop this struggle at any time. In essence, you are wrestling with yourself, and it is a fight that you cannot win. Therefore, the answer is to stop fighting and to make peace with yourself, because resistance causes pain.

Our struggles in life come from our essential need to know ourselves and to discover who we truly are. We do this by seeking to express our true essence and identity through the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the work we do, the friends we have, the home and community we live in, etc. This is how we choose to identify who we are in the world to the world, and these become statements of our identity.

Many people become so attached to these external expressions of themselves that they start to really believe that these things determine who they are, rather than simply being a reflection of who they are choosing to be and what they are choosing to experience in the moment. None of these things mean anything to anyone but you, because you are really the only person who counts in your world; your life is all about what you choose to create and experience for yourself.

All of these external things are merely the sets, props and costumes of the play that you are enacting, based on the role that you are choosing to play. The problem comes when you forget that you are  writing your own play, and you are also directing it, casting it, acting in it, and producing every aspect of it. Sometimes it can be helpful to take a step back, become an observer of your play from another perspective, and see if you are really enjoying it or not. If not, then it is time for a rewrite!

You are not defined by anything outside of you. What you do is not who you truly are. You are not your past, you are not your family, you are not your race or religion, you are not your education, you are not some letters after your name, you are not even your name. Your true essence is the expression of "I am that I am", which is divine.

You are struggling to find your true identity, and once you discover that, it will lead you to express your truth and your gifts through a career that properly reflects you, and gives you joy and other rewards in return. The problem is that you seem to be struggling to fit into a certain mold, idea or expectation that is not truly your own. Who are you trying to please? Up until now, certainly not yourself!

Insecurity comes from not truly knowing yourself, and not being comfortable with the aspects of yourself that you do know. Insecurity comes from worrying about what other people think of you, because you believe that your identity should somehow be pleasing and acceptable to others. The problem is that your identity so far has not been pleasing or acceptable to you.

My advice would be to stop - stop everything for a moment, and just be with yourself. Remember that we are "human beings", not "human doings". Everything that you choose to do in any given moment is simply a reflection and an expression of what you are choosing to experience in that moment, but it does not define or determine who you truly are.

Who you are is a great, magnificent, divine being of light who has chosen to have an earthly incarnation in the third dimension so you can truly see yourself, feel yourself, and know yourself. You are here to experience what it is to create and co-create whatever you choose to experience.

As a divine creator, whatever you focus your attention and energy on is what you shall create and attract to you. Every thought is a prayer - it is a request and an order that you put out to the Universe. Whether you like it or not, the law of attraction states: "ask and you shall receive". If you focus your energy on struggle and unhappiness, that is what you will manifest. So stop for a moment and ask yourself, "What do I really choose to experience in this life?" and "How do I choose to feel on a daily basis?" You have the power of choice in each moment, and each choice you make determines what you experience in the next moment. What you choose to feel and experience will attract that to you.

I would suggest that you stop giving yourself such a hard time about the choices you have made. I applaud you for changing career paths if they did not give you joy. This is not a failing or a failure, it is simply that you discovered that the path you were on was not an accurate expression of who you are, or who you are choosing to be in this world.

No experience is ever wasted. Everything that we experience provides an opportunity for us to learn and grow, to evolve and to discover more of who we truly are, sometimes by discovering who we are not. Everything that you have ever done, learned, tried or experienced serves as an essential piece of the puzzle of your life. You may not know how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together initially, and at first it may even look impossible, but there are never useless pieces in the box. As you proceed through your life and start to see the big picture, you will know how each piece has served you and others, even if it only becomes clear once this lifetime is complete.

Each person has his or her own unique path, even if they are struggling to be like everyone else. It is not wise to measure your life against those of others, because you can only know what is true for you. Those who have an easier time of life have either chosen a simpler life path, or they have stopped struggling against themselves and have relaxed into the flow of expressing their divine essence and joy.

If you see something in someone else that upsets you, ask yourself why is it upsetting you. Is it a reflection of an aspect of yourself that you judge, hate or deny? If so, make peace with that aspect by simply accepting it in you and in them, and thank them for serving you by showing that aspect to you. If you are resentful because they have something you want, then realize that you would not be able to recognize it if you did not have the capacity for it.

If you get upset at seeing someone who has something you want, you are telling the Universe that you don't want to have that because it upsets you, so you are actually pushing it away - envy, jealousy and resentment are all repulsive energies. On the other hand, if you get excited and celebrate someone else's joy and success because they have what you want, it tells the Universe, "I'll have what they're having, please, and thank you!"

Stop struggling and boxing with your shadow, for this is like a dog chasing its tail and it will get you nowhere and give you nothing but struggle. You must make peace with yourself in order to create peace and joy in your life. Make time for peace each day, so you can quiet your mind and get to know yourself and what you truly want. Remember that it is always okay to change your mind and to put a new order in to the Universe, but you must do so from your heart. Allow yourself to know that you deserve to experience a life worth loving, because that would be a true expression of the divine love that you are. Choose to see the truth of who you are reflected in beauty and joy all around you, and so it shall be.


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