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THE POWER TO CHANGE

I know I need to change my life, but I am afraid. What if it will be even worse?

Many people are afraid to make changes in their lives because they are afraid of the unknown, and they hold onto what is familiar because it feels more secure, even if it is uncomfortable or unpleasant. This is not living, this is merely existing. In order to really live fully, you must fully enjoy your life. Only you can change your life. When you choose what changes you will make, it is no longer unknown, it is chosen, and this becomes empowering and encouraging. Have the courage to change yourself, your experiences, and your life for the better. There is always risk involved in life, especially where change is concerned. If you do not change, you may have a feeling of greater certainty, but the only thing you can be certain of is that it will continue being as unpleasant as it is now, unless you make some change in some way. You have the power to choose, and you have the power to change, if that is what you choose.

If I change, How can I be sure I’ll be happy?

You must choose to be happy and to experience the things that give you joy on a daily basis. Nothing and no one can make you happy, only you can choose how you feel. It doesn’t take anything outside of yourself in order for you to feel joy right now - it is simply a choice. Many people make the mistake of saying to themselves, “I’ll be happy when I lose weight”, but because they’re not happy now, they eat more! People often say, “I’ll be happy when I’m in the perfect relationship”, or “I’ll be happy when I have a million dollars”. You can only be happy in the future if you choose happiness now, because the choices that you make right now determine your future outcome. What you put out in life is what you get back. If you are choosing to be miserable with the way you are now in your life, then remember that misery loves company, because like attracts like. You are not likely to attract the perfect relationship to you when you are not happy, because unhappiness is not attractive. How often have you found yourself attracted to someone who is miserable? You don’t have to be rich, or perfect to attract the things that give you joy, you just need to love and accept yourself the way you are right now, and let your joy and your light attract to you more joy, because joy begets joy.

When I try to change the things I don’t like about myself and my life, they seem to get worse. Why?

If you spend your time focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, of course it will seem worse because that’s all you are seeing. What you resist persists because you give it the power of your focus and attention; you give your power to it and therefore empower it, making it stronger and more real. Do not focus on what you do not want, focus only on what you choose to create and experience. What you resist persists, what you accept you can affect. Do not choose change because you do not like what you see, choose change because you want to be the best that you can be. Do not expect perfection, this is not possible in human form. Everything on Earth is perfectly imperfect and perfectly flawed, that’s what makes it unique. You are unique also, and you must embrace all that is wonderful about you and your life, and focus on that. Love and accept yourself as you are now, then choose what you want to give more love and attention to. Your thoughts and energies are your power. You have the power of choice as to where you direct your thoughts and energies, and you have the power to create anything you choose.

I find that I make changes in my life, then I fall back into old habits. How can I make these changes stick?

There is a saying that “old habits die hard”, that’s because they don’t die at all. Old habits must be replaced with new habits, but a habit is a repeated pattern of action and response that has become unconscious. When you are acting out of habitual response, your mind goes on autopilot, and you are no longer conscious of what you are doing. The key is to wake up in the present moment and consciously choose again. You must keep consciously making the new choices until that becomes the new pattern and habit. Research says that it takes at least 21 days to form a new habit, so you must be diligent and follow through on your commitment for the next three to four weeks, and continue making conscious choices during that time that support your goals and desires. Changing old habits and patterns takes time, so be patient. Affirmations can also be very helpful in reprogramming the mind, because they affirm and support the power of your intention.

I have tried affirmations and subliminal tapes to support me to make changes in my life, but I find that I haven’t had good experiences with them. Why is that?

The mind is a very powerful computer and will take all suggestions literally. Affirmations and subliminal messages are literally programming your mind and your thoughts. It is very important that the words that you are hearing are specifically supporting what you desire to experience. One of the best ways to ensure this is to make your own affirmation tapes. Your mind will not only respond better to your own voice, but you can also be certain of what messages you will be hearing. Make sure that your affirmations are always stated in the present and in the positive, and it is always best to include the energy of gratitude that it is already created, because the Universe creates at the speed of thought. An example of this would be: “I am grateful that I am happy and fulfilled in all areas of my life now.” Of course, you can be more specific than that, just don’t limit the possibilities too much. Remember, you get what you ask for, so make sure you’re asking for what you really want to feel and experience. It is also important to recognize that your emotions must be in alignment with what you desire to create; this is why it is helpful to incorporate feelings of gratitude in your affirmation. You can record music in the background of your affirmations that evokes the feeling that achieving your goal will give you. Finally, it is best to work with affirmations first thing in the morning or last thing at night, because the mind is most open to suggestion upon waking or just before going to sleep. (I also offer affirmation cards that can help you to achieve what you desire.)

The people around me are so negative and draining. How can I help them change?

You cannot change anyone else, you can only change yourself. When you change, everything and everyone around you will change to reflect your new energy back to you. Some people around you may resist the change in you, and may criticize you and try to get you back to your old self so they don’t have to change. You may at that point consider that if the people around you are not choosing to change, you might change who you choose to have around you. Do not give your power away to others by letting yourself be affected by them. . Do not fret over what you feel you cannot change, because this will only leave you feeling powerless, helpless and afraid. You can only change what you have power over in your own life. Use your power of choice and do whatever you can in your life to support what you choose to support, and change what you can change. You can always use the power of prayer, which employs the power of intention, just like affirmations do.

Remember the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

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