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ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
REDUCTION STRATEGIES

Question: "I have a tendency to drink too much and lately this has taken me almost to suicidal states. But I find it very difficult to talk about this to anyone face to face out of embarrassment, so I can't see myself getting counseling. Can you suggest anything?"

Psychic Advice:
You are not alone by any means; even though you feel isolated by your addiction, millions of people are suffering from the same self-induced affliction. We live in an addicted society, where most people have an addiction to something, whether it is drugs, alcohol, smoking, food, shopping, sex, pornography, even work or exercise. Some people are addicted to drama, suffering and negativity. Many people are addicted to television, video games, cell phones, email, surfing the internet, even the news or weather. Some addictions are more obvious than others, while some can remain hidden and secret, but the feelings of guilt, shame and powerlessness are often the same.

Of course, some addictions are more harmful than others, with effects that are not only physical, but also affect one mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Many addictions have repercussions that also impact others, especially loved ones. Everyone involved has a sense of feeling powerless in the face of addiction, because addiction robs you of your power of choice.

The key to recovering from an addiction is to reclaim and recover your power of choice, which is your responsibility. We often equate responsibility with blame, but it is not that. You are responsible for the way you choose to respond to your experiences in life, and your responses, actions and reactions determine and create your reality. The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to choose how you act and react in every moment, and when it comes to addiction, you must enact your power of choice one moment at a time.

The first step in recovery is to recognize your addiction, which you should give yourself credit for doing. Denial drives addiction - many people remain in denial regarding their addictions, especially to alcohol. They tell themselves "It's only beer/wine", or "I'm not an alcoholic because I don't drink during the day", or "I'm not an alcoholic because I don't get drunk no matter how much I drink". If you are making excuses around drinking, you are probably an alcoholic.

The label of addict or alcoholic should not be a judgment, it is simply a diagnosis of a condition. If a cancer remains undiagnosed, it will simply spread and grow, until it becomes a life-threatening problem - the same is true of most addictions, in one way or another. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, we don't usually judge them for it (unless it was "self-induced" by an addiction, such as smoking); rather, we tend to have empathy and compassion for their condition, and we hope for their recovery. The same should be true of addiction, which is simply a dis-ease caused by not being at ease with oneself.

A diagnosis of a condition is necessary in order to start treating it, therefore we must bring addiction out of the shadows of darkness and secrecy into the light of love so it can be healed. Shame and guilt drive addiction, and are the real killers. Shame, guilt and embarrassment not only stop us from admitting the problem or seeking help for it, but the feelings of guilt and shame make us want to reach for our addiction over and over again to numb the feelings of guilt and shame. This is a vicious cycle.

Once you admit to yourself that you have an addiction, you must release yourself from the judgment, shame and guilt that keep you imprisoned in your addiction. Recognize that addictions are simply a coping mechanism that we adopted when we felt somehow overwhelmed and powerless to face our feelings or the circumstances of life, and they served a purpose to get us through that period of time. You wouldn't judge someone for taking anesthesia to get them through an operation, because without the anesthetic, the surgery to heal them would have been unbearably painful. We use our addictions, whatever they may be, to numb us from our pain, then to numb us from our shame, but eventually we must become conscious and begin rehabilitation in order to truly recover from our trauma.

Many people are driven to addiction because they feel hopeless, helpless or powerless in their lives - but these feelings of "lessness" simply create a sense of inadequacy, which further drives addiction. Most addicts have convinced themselves that they are somehow bad people because they've done bad things and hurt the people they love, therefore they feel they don't deserve anything good, so they punish themselves with guilt and shame. This drives them to want to drink, or eat, or do whatever will make them feel better because they feel so badly about themselves. Then they feel bad for acting on their addiction, and the same mental tapes play over and over again.

In order to break the cycle of addiction, you must start to recover your power of choice so you can choose different thoughts, actions and reactions in order to experience different results. Remember that "insanity" has been defined as doing the same thing over and over again while expecting the results to be different. An addiction is a state of insanity, because it controls your mind - therefore, to recover your sanity, you must take responsibility for your thoughts. Listen to what you are thinking, and begin to reprogram your mind to support you to experience happiness and wellbeing.

Many addictions are self-destructive, driven by self-criticism and self-loathing. You must make peace with yourself for the choices you've made in the past, because these choices served a purpose for you at the time. There really is nothing absolutely good or bad - these are simply judgments and perceptions, often agreed to in the collective consciousness at a particular time. Release yourself from these judgments and set yourself free, otherwise you are condemning yourself to life in prison of your own making - perhaps in solitary confinement.

Being addicted to something can be very isolating and lonely, as you try to hide your addiction from others out of shame and embarrassment. The trouble is that those feelings of loneliness can drive the addiction further, as you seek to fill the emptiness within you. The truth is that your addiction is probably not so hidden as you think it is - others are probably aware of it, but they are either suffering from the same addiction (because like attracts like), or they feel powerless to help because you've never asked for their help.

At least you have sought help through this column, so here are some suggestions for alcohol consumption reduction strategies (these strategies could be applied to many addictions):


- BREATHE - when faced with an addictive urge, take a few deep breaths to center yourself and gather your thoughts. Get a sense of how you are feeling and what is going on within you and around you. Become clear about what your choices and options are, then enact your will and your power of choice to choose what you do next. If you choose to drink alcohol, or to act on whatever is your addiction of choice, do so with permission and without guilt. By becoming conscious of your choices, you break the unconscious habitual behavior, thereby breaking part of the addictive cycle. When you consciously choose in the moment, you recover your power of choice, and can therefore have the power to make a different choice the next time.

- HAVE A LIST OF CHOICES - prepare a list of possible choices and activities that you could do instead of drinking when you feel stressed, depressed, afraid, etc. We all have good days and bad days, and you need to find ways other than drinking to deal with them. You could take a walk, listen to uplifting music, watch a movie, visit friends or family (who are not drinkers), etc. The key is to break your habitual patterns of responses, actions and reactions. Give yourself other options, instead of drinking being your default behavior in response to everything.

- DRINK MORE WATER - sometimes you may simply be thirsty, so try reaching for a glass of water before you reach for another type of beverage. Alcohol is very dehydrating, and you really should drink at least two glasses of water for every glass of alcohol. Depending on your alcoholic beverage of choice, you might consider watering it down a lot.

- TAKE IT EASY - some people can handle going "cold turkey" and refraining from their addiction altogether, but others find that cravings only increase with the thought of deprivation (especially regarding food addictions). Some will often binge more than ever while facing thoughts of "never again". Therefore, some people may benefit in a gradual reduction over time.

- MODERATION - if you choose to reduce your alcohol consumption, try to allot yourself a certain amount per day, and only at a certain time of day. Perhaps you only drink with dinner, so the food absorbs some of the alcohol. Also, you may want to pour out a certain amount ahead of time, perhaps into a lovely container.

- REDUCE TEMPTATION - try not to have much alcohol around you at one time; decide on the amount you'll drink per day, then buy that amount once a week. Change the way you drink - if you drink cold beer out of a can or bottle, pour it in a glass instead, and try drinking it warm or less chilled so it is not so enticing and you'll drink it slowly. If you drink hard alcohol on the rocks, try it with water at room temperature. Do what you can to make it less palatable, and change your habits.


- WHAT STATE ARE YOU SEEKING - most people act out of addiction because of the state it creates in their mind, body and emotions. We have our addictions because they change our biochemistry and put us in altered state. Find out what state you are truly seeking to be in, and ask yourself if there are any other activities that could give you that feeling. For instance, if you are drinking in order to feel relaxed, you might get a similar feeling from having a massage, or from reading a book. If you are drinking to get a buzz or a high, you might be able to get that feeling from running, or yoga, or some other exercise. Remember that drinking, and even drugs, don't really get you high, they are actually depressants that make you feel more depressed when you come down, which only makes you want to get high again. (If you are drinking to get drunk, and nothing else could give you that feeling, you might consider changing the alcohol you drink to something you don't enjoy the taste of, therefore it would have less appeal and you might dink less, and perhaps less often.)

- FEEL YOUR FEELINGS - an addiction occurs when are doing something because you don't want to feel the way you do, so you alter your feelings with your drug of choice. Have the courage to feel your true feelings, to feel the emptiness - don't run away from yourself, because no matter where you go, there you are in the morning. Make peace with yourself and be okay alone with your thoughts. Meditation can be very healing.

- FACE YOUR FEAR - many people drink for "liquid courage", but as long as you don't face your fears, they chase you as shadows looming larger and larger behind you. You will always fear the monster in the closet until you turn the light on to see that it was never really there.

- FORGIVENESS - as long as you are punishing yourself or others, you are living in a prison, condemned to continue suffering. Forgiveness sets you free, and there is nothing so grave that it does not deserve forgiveness. Every experience gives everyone an opportunity to learn and grow - as soon as you embrace that learning and growth, you can set yourself and others free with forgiveness, and perhaps with gratitude. Lack of forgiveness simply becomes an excuse to perpetuate old patterns and carry on old behaviors that are destructive. Forgiveness is life-affirming and life-supporting - it is the gift of life itself.

- PATIENCE - don't expect yourself or anyone else to be perfect. To be human is to be perfectly imperfect - our flaws make us unique, like gems. If you make a choice to drink or behave in a way that you are not ultimately happy with, let that be okay and give yourself the power to choose again next time. Don't beat yourself up and use that as an excuse to "let all hell break loose". Falling off the wagon does not mean you have to get run over by it!

- CHANGE YOUR HABITS - start to create new habits that are not associated with drinking - sit in a different chair, change your routine, watch different shows, go to different places. The nature of addiction is that it is a rut of habitual behavior that drives you unconsciously on auto-pilot. If you always go to the local bar to watch sports and drink, try going to an actual game instead of drinking in the bar (the money you save on alcohol can buy your ticket!). Our addictions are often associated with other things, so change those things and make other choices that will now be associated with your wellbeing.

- LOVE - many people drink out of loneliness, but some people drink out of fear of love and intimacy. They feel so bad and guilty, believing that they don't deserve love, so they use alcohol (or other addictions) to push people away and avoid love. Once they are isolated, then they have a really good reason to drink, with no one watching. Don't be afraid of being loved, or of loving others. Even if you have experienced or created pain in the past, you don't have to perpetuate it in the present or the future. Those who love you are not judging you, they just want to give you love and receive love from you in a way that makes everyone feel good and happy.

- TALK TO SOMEONE - your addiction is not your friend, it drives you away from friends and family because it wants you to feel shame so you drink more. Millions of people have addictions, particularly to alcohol - you are not alone, and you don't have to suffer alone. Perhaps consider confiding in one friend who is not a drinker - chances are your drinking too much is not really the secret you think it is. (You may need to change your friends and change social groups and activities away from drinking and into things that are more active and healthy.) Also, there is no shame in seeking some form of counseling to discover what kind of pain, wound or belief is causing your addiction and driving you to drink. There are counselors and organizations that specialize in understanding addiction; this would allow you to receive support from those who understand how you feel, and how you can recover.

- REMEMBER YOUR SPIRIT - the spirits you find in a bottle are not the kind that will console you. Instead, seek out spiritual support, either in the form of workshops or retreats, self-help books or programs, or even some church groups or religious organizations. When you feel empty, the only thing that can truly fulfill you is to feed your soul.

- NO EXCUSES - everything can become an excuse to drink - don't let outer circumstances be excuses or reasons for your addiction. Take responsibility for your choices and actions. Remember that you have infinite choices as to your responses, actions and reactions. When dealing with addictions, we are often wrestling with our own demons - it is like the old cartoons with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, both trying to influence your choices. You have free will. If you choose to drink, accept that is your conscious choice, and let it be okay. Take a moment before each glass, before each sip to take a breath and make sure that is what you choose to do. Just because you open a bottle does not mean you have to finish it - the same goes for the glass you chose to pour. You have the power of choice moment by moment, glass by glass, and sip by sip. This is the most powerful thing to remember, because you have the power to change your life in any moment, with any choice.

These are a few alcohol consumption reduction strategies that could be helpful to you on a daily basis. You can also write down ideas of your own. Remember that addiction is a beast that has been driving you, and it may not want to relinquish the driver's seat easily. If reading this information is driving you to want to drink, or to act on any addiction, remember that you always have the power of choice, and that is key to recovering your free will and wellbeing.

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"Responsibility is power. You have the power of choice.
You are always responsible for the choices you make and the actions you take."