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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE
SAD AND LONELY?

Question: "Hello, I'm feeling really sad and lonely at the moment and think life is just not very lucky. Will life get better in the next few months?"

Psychic Advice:
Many people are feeling more and more sad and lonely as we become more isolated in our present society. We have grown away from a sense of community, and people now tend to live in their own world, "protected" from connecting with others by the bubble of their car, their cell phone, or MP3 player. Rather than interacting with those around us, we now choose to favor technology over people, which is creating a cold and disconnected world. 

Many seek out solace through the computer, but the sense of connection that one gets through online chats, etc., can be fairly distant, and often inauthentic. For some people, connecting with others through the computer becomes a lifeline, but it can leave one feeling even more sad, lonely, empty, and disconnected.

As humans, we need real contact with others, so we need to find ways to meet and connect with each other. Having the same routine of going from home to work and back again, watching TV or surfing the net, then going to bed is not only sad and depressing over time, but it also doesn't give you much opportunity to meet new people or to have new and interesting experiences.
 
One thing is certain: if you keep doing the same things all the time, you are going to experience more of the same. The only way to really change your life is to change what you do. There are several ways that you can create the changes you want in your life and meet the kinds of people you want to connect with (remember that quality is far more important than quantity when it comes to friends and relationships).

First, you must get to know yourself and what you really want for your life. This is a crucial step, because it essentially puts your order out to the Universe so you can start attracting the kinds of people and situations to you that you choose to experience. If you don't know what you want, how will you ever get it? And how would you recognize it when it shows up? Knowing what you want also helps you to recognize and weed out what you don't want, which saves you time and pain.

You must choose and create the life you want for yourself, otherwise you will feel like a victim of circumstance who is just waiting for life to happen to you. This is why you feel unlucky. Being lucky or unlucky is often about what you expect for yourself, and what you believe you deserve. These feelings and beliefs attract your experiences to you. If you believe you are unlucky, then that is what you will attract and create, but you can change your life by choosing to change your mind. Life is not about fate, unless you give your power of choice away.

Changing your life involves changing how you spend your time. Take a look at your life right now and ask yourself what thoughts, feelings and actions are no longer serving you to create the life you really want. Don't beat yourself up about them, but commit yourself to making positive changes in those areas. Be willing to take at least one step each day to change these patterns and break these habits - you don't actually break bad habits, you simply create new and better habits and patterns instead that support the life and the lifestyle that you want to experience. 

You must like yourself and enjoy being with yourself in order for others to enjoy being with you. If you change the qualities in you that are unattractive, you will become instantly more attractive to others. Remember that some of the most popular movie stars are not absolutely gorgeous, but are attractive because of the quality of light that they shine. When you feel a true sense of pride and joy about yourself and your life, you will attract everything that you choose to experience.

There are three main approaches to creating the life you want and meeting the right people for you:

First, make a list of the things you like to do, and all the things you have ever wanted to do or try. Start looking for classes or groups that address these areas. They don't have to be expensive, or may not cost any money at all. What is really required is an investment of your time, and you are worth that. If you love to cook, take some cooking classes. If you love to dance, take dance classes or look for dance groups - be willing to try new styles, such as salsa, tango or ballroom.

Exercise will not only make you look and feel better, but it can also be a great way to meet people. Join walking groups, yoga classes, biking groups, etc. Keep trying new groups or classes until you find one you really enjoy with people you connect with.

Look in your local paper for different group activities, lectures, classes and upcoming events. You can join poetry groups, book clubs, philosophy circles, etc. If it interests you, then you will have things in common with the other people who are attracted to those activities. Not only can this enrich your mind, but it can greatly improve your social life. Do all the things that you like to do, and you will meet others who also enjoy doing those things, because like attracts like.

In friendships and relationships, it is very important to have things in common that you can share and enjoy together. But first, you must explore and discover what those things are for you, then make sure you do them. For instance, if you love flowers and gardening, take classes and attend lectures on these topics, and you will meet other people who share your enthusiasm. The key is to find others who enjoy doing the things you like to do, and you will find them by doing those things.

The second way to meet the type of people you want to have as friends or relationships is to determine what kinds of things they would be doing and go to those places to meet them. If you want to be with people who love animals, for instance, you can go to a dog park, or horse show, etc. If you want to be with people who love boats, then go to boat shows or sailing regattas. If you want to meet people from a particular culture or religious group, then go to events sponsored by those groups. If you want to meet people who like art, then go to art galleries, art shows and museums.

Remember that where you meet someone will usually be a place they like to go or an activity they like to do, so make sure that you also enjoy that kind of place and activity. If you meet someone in a bar, they probably like to drink, so you will need to be okay with that and don't expect them to change later. If you meet someone at a sporting event or sports bar, you better like that sport, because chances are they will want to watch that sport - a lot!

You don't necessarily need to be outgoing, but you do need to go out. Be willing to try new things and have new experiences. Accept invitations, as long as they feel at least somewhat interesting or comfortable for you. If someone strikes up a conversation with you, don't just give one word answers, but engage them and ask them questions in return.

Even if you are shy, shine your light, stand tall and hold your head high, and always dress for success. Keep in mind that how you dress says a lot about you, especially as a first impression, so be careful not to send the wrong message with what you wear.

A third approach to changing your life for the better is to close your eyes and imagine the life you really want to have. Imagine yourself living that life in the near future, and explore all the people and elements that surround you. Ask yourself what you do each day, and get a sense of how you feel living that life. If it is a life that you are happy with, ask your future self what steps you need to take now to get there. (If it is not a future life that you are happy with, then choose again, change the channel and the frequency until you find a movie of your life that you would really enjoy.)

Once you get a clear picture of the future that you want to create, start taking the steps each day to create that for yourself now. Dress like that future happy self, act like that person, do the activities and make the choices that your future happy self would make. If something in your present does not fit that image, start to change it now. Making these changes will change your life. If you want your life to get better, you must make it better, it isn't just going to happen to you or for you. 

The key is to be yourself, but be your best self at all times. Don't pretend to be someone you are not just to impress other people, because this will only forge inauthentic and uncomfortable relationships. It takes courage to be yourself and to put yourself out there, but what price do you pay for not doing it? You don't have to continue to live a sad and lonely life.

Remember also that you are never truly alone, you are always surrounded by your guides and angels. It doesn't matter if you believe in them or not, because they always believe in you. You can talk to your guides and angels and tell them how you feel, but more importantly, ask them for what you really want in your life, and ask for their help in creating and attracting it to you. Ask them to help you heal your sadness, your pain and your loneliness, and to help you to feel worthy of love and joy. They cannot make these changes for you, but they can help you as long as you are willing to ask for that help.

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