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"COMMUNICATING BETTER WITH
DIFFICULT CO-WORKERS"

Question: "I am sensitive to the feelings and agendas of others. Recently, I grew to really enjoy a relationship with a co-worker, and then became aware of their negative agenda. Now things are awkward, and when that person asked me about my 'shift', I am unable to explain. I don't feel safe to explain. Any ideas?"

Psychic Advice:
We are drawn to different people at different times in our lives to serve a purpose for each other. Every relationship and interaction with another person gives us an opportunity to learn about life, about others, and about ourselves. It is through these encounters and connections that we grow and evolve.

Every relationship is an exchange of energy, which involves giving and receiving. Although these relationships are reciprocal, we do not always receive from others the same energy that we give to them. Essentially, this depends on the intentions of both parties.

People are the way they are as a result of all of the factors that led up to now. People become conditioned to behave in certain ways as a response and reaction to what they have experienced, what they've been told, and what they believe about themselves and about life. All of these ingredients are combined in a recipe that makes them who they are. When someone or something new enters their life, it becomes another ingredient that changes the recipe, for the better or worse.

People enter relationships for different reasons. Sometimes, we are drawn to others out of loneliness or neediness. Sometimes, we are drawn to someone because they have something we want for ourselves, or we want to be like them, or we want their approval. Sometimes, we are drawn to someone because we want to help or give to them, but we must be careful not to want to "fix" or change them, unless they really want to change.

Many people who are healers and caregivers are drawn to people who need healing. This type of relationship often ends, either because the other person rejects the healing and does not want to change, or because they choose to change and once they heal, there is no longer any need for the relationship.

Relationships where one person is constantly giving and the other is always receiving or taking are out of balance, and will breed resentment and even contempt on both sides. The giver will tend to feel used and taken advantage of, and will become exhausted from giving to a bottomless pit. The receiver will often feel inferior, and will despise the feeling of dependence and inadequacy.

We all enter into every relationship with an agenda, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes that agenda is karmic, with unfinished business from other lifetimes. The agenda can also be a sacred contract that serves a higher purpose for both souls. Most often, we are drawn to others for how they make us feel, and what we want to experience and learn with them consciously and subconsciously.


Our interactions with others are designed to teach us love, patience and compassion. Compassion is the ultimate form of love, because it involves putting ourselves in another person's shoes, seeing life through their eyes and feeling what it is like to be in their skin. This form of empathy and compassion helps you to understand what is making that person behave the way they do, and with this understanding, there can be patience and forgiveness. Once you understand them, you can have better communication with them and give them what they truly need.

Compassion and empathy allow one to feel what another person is feeling, but it is also important to be willing to understand why they feel that way. When people are negative, or have negative intentions or agendas, it is often because they are afraid and in pain. They have often experienced a great deal of negativity in the past, and have learned not to trust people, not to trust love or happiness, or even life itself. Negativity can become a form of protection, because it keeps people away from them so they cannot be hurt again. Unfortunately, it also leaves them lonely and needy, and in greater pain than if they took the risk to allow love and joy.

People who have negative agendas often have low self-esteem and self-worth. They are often bitter, angry and jealous. They are attracted to people who are loving and filled with light because they crave that energy, but will often try to dampen, extinguish or reject it because it feels unfamiliar and unsafe. Essentially, negative and difficult people are seeking love and acceptance, they just have difficulty accepting them.

When it comes to co-workers, people are thrown together seemingly by circumstance, and must continue to work together on a daily basis. There is a dance between maintaining a good professional relationship, while also being friendly. If a friendship or intimate relationship develops and then changes, it is important to return to being cordial and professional.

In dealing with difficult co-workers, do not go out of your way to avoid them. Worrying about confronting them only gives your power away, making you more vulnerable to their attacks. It is important to hold your head high with strength and confidence, and imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble of light, or a cloak of light, that protects you from other people's energies. Also imagine that they are surrounded by their own bubble of light that contains and binds their energy. Smile and fill yourself with love, then wish that person peace, joy and wellbeing.

Communicating better with difficult co-workers involves looking for the best in them, and acknowledging these qualities. Tell them when they do a good job, or what you admire about them. Be sincere, not fake, even though they may be suspicious of compliments and kindness. Do not withdraw or be cold, because this can incite greater negativity from their insecurity. Keep yourself busy, and avoid office gossip.

If your co-worker makes unwanted invitations to go to lunch, or wants to get together with you outside work, be honest and say that you just need to focus on your work. Treat difficult co-workers the way that you would want to be treated, with kindness, compassion and respect, but don't let yourself be manipulated or controlled by fear of their anger and negativity.


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