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FACTORS THAT LEAD TO
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE
Question: "I am having difficulty dealing with someone that works in an office down the hall. He visits frequently and makes rude and lewd sexual comments even though I have asked him repeatedly not to. He also reads incoming mail that is of no concern to him whatsoever. I have mentioned my frustration to my boss on numerous occasions and he has asked that I not say anything and always says, 'let me mull it over' but he never does anything about it."
Psychic Advice:
What you are experiencing is sexual harassment. Definitions of "harass" are: "make repeated small scale attacks on (an enemy)" or "to trouble by repeated attacks". You are essentially under attack, and it is designed to rob you of your power, your dignity and your self-esteem. Such treatment is abusive, and it disempowers you little by little over time.
Sexual harassment leaves you feeling naked and vulnerable, because the perpetrators are mentally undressing you and demeaning you. Our patriarchal society has a tendency to dismiss such behavior in men, affirming a "boys will be boys" mentality. Men may not realize that such thoughts are actually psychic rape, and are a form of attack and abuse.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we are constantly picking up on the thoughts, energies and emotions of the people around us, and even people who are at a distance. Have you ever had the experience of thinking of someone, only to have that person phone you shortly thereafter? We connect with each other through energy waves that are created by our thoughts, intentions and emotions.
There are different types of sexual thoughts and fantasies, and each will hold a different frequency of energy. Truly amorous thoughts about someone come from a place of admiration, and are a fantasy about what you would like to share with that person. Thoughts of this nature are essentially loving and giving. On the other hand, purely lustful thoughts about what one would like to "do" to another person do not come from a place of respect or admiration, but are actually aggressive and attacking thoughts that take from the other person.
We live in a society that objectifies women. We reduce them to sex objects that are merely the sum of their parts in order to disempower the feminine. Some women use their own bodies and sexuality to manipulate men, but the majority of women feel somewhat insecure in their body, which can distract them from feeling successful or empowered, and can leave them vulnerable to being abused in some way.
Our society is constantly giving us mixed messages. Sexual thoughts and comments toward women are promoted in the media, in films and television programs. We are trained to laugh at these comments and sexual innuendoes, and many comedies are entirely based on them. And yet, sexual harassment in the workplace is against the law in most places.
Women's sexuality is one of the most powerful things on Earth - it is the source of life itself. Men have the power to take life, but they do not have the power to give life. For centuries, the power of the feminine was held in awe and reverence, and the female form was worshipped - a true female form with all its natural curves.
Today, we have turned women against each other and against themselves. Women have a tendency to judge each other's bodies, often speculating as to what's real and what may be surgically enhanced. We have supported a societal belief system that a woman's goal is to have her body be admired by men, and she must do whatever is necessary to meet the masculine ideal of what a woman should look like, even if it risks her health or her life. Women no longer need to be bound by corsets that impede their ability to breathe because women are now bound by the thoughts in their own mind that keep them constantly distracted from their own power and potential.
The "sexual revolution" allowed women more equality with men, and women were no longer considered to be possessions of men from a legal standpoint, but it also turned women into sexual objects. The advent of men's magazines has given men permission to openly think about women in sexual ways - gone are the days of politeness, propriety and gentlemanly respect and courtesy. Modern magazines and advertising have literally driven home the objectification of women.
It is therefore no wonder that these factors lead to sexual harassment in the workplace, but it is a violation of the law nonetheless. This man who is coming into your office is using sexual comments in order to attack you and steal power from you. He is demeaning you with every comment, making you feel somehow dirty. This is abuse, plain and simple.
Your boss certainly does not "have your back" and is not taking steps to defend or protect you. By not taking action, he is essentially condoning this man's behavior, and perhaps he does not see anything wrong with it.
You should expect to be treated with respect, courtesy and professionalism in the workplace. If you are under attack, you have the right to protect yourself. It is important to realize that this man obviously has no respect for you, for your boss or for your office if he is also reading your incoming mail. He is someone who has no boundaries, and who does not respect the boundaries of others.
The first thing you must do is to create psychic boundaries around yourself and your office. Imagine that you are surrounded by a bubble of white light which is a force-field that protects your personal space. Imagine that your office is filled with light, and that the light is so powerful that it cleanses the space of all negative energy. Imagine that the doorway of the office is a shower of light that cleanses negativity from all who enter that space, and even deflects negative energy. Envision the hallway, this man's office and the entire building filled with such light, and see all the doorways and elevators as showers of light that cleanse negativity. See this man, and your boss, surrounded in a bubble of light of their own that contains their energy and creates a boundary around them.
Anyone who acts in such an abusive and disrespectful manner does so because they feel insecure and inferior, and they steal power from others to make themselves feel better. Do not lower yourself to empower his comments - each time you ask him not to make his comments, you give him the power of knowing that he is affecting you and demeaning you. Tell this man that his only business in that office would be with your boss, and repeatedly ask that he treat you with the same respect and professionalism with which you treat him. Make sure that you dress and act in a professional manner, hold your head up high with dignity, and let that be the only thing that you continue to say to him until he begins to treat you properly.
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Copyright ©2007 Grace & Grace Associates Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved
"Responsibility is power. You have the power of choice.
You are always responsible for the choices you make and the actions you take."

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