_ Psychic Advice :: "HOW TO WIN BACK AN EX"

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"HOW TO WIN BACK AN EX"

Question:"I have been trying to win back an ex-love and have been told that I need healing myself and then that will bring him back to me. Can you tell me if the healing is working?"

Psychic Advice:
When it comes to relationships, many people tend to try to alter themselves in various ways in an attempt to attract someone, win back an ex, or please their partner. They may even become an entirely different person in order to try to be the person that they believe their partner wants. This is not only a lie and a self-deception, but it is also a terrible mistake.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to give to your partner, or wanting to make your partner happy (although we can never really "make" another person feel anything that they don't choose to feel). Part of loving another person often involves wanting to give that person joy by doing loving things for them. Expressing love in a way that gives you and your partner joy is healthy for you and for the relationship.

The problem comes when you start to change yourself in order to please another person. When you do this, you give your power away to the other person, and you lose yourself and your own sense of identity in the process. Women often have a tendency to make this mistake in relationship: they give, and give, and give until there is nothing left of them, leaving them feeling empty and exhausted. At this point, their partners tend to leave them because there is nothing left to love - the woman that they fell in love with doesn't exist anymore.

When you alter yourself to try to please others, you are essentially wearing masks and disguises. You are pretending to be something that you are not because you believe that is the only way that others will love and accept you. The problem is that if your wear that mask or disguise in order to attract someone, you will always have to wear that mask throughout the relationship, because the person fell in love with the disguise of the persona you were pretending to be. Under these circumstances, you will never be able to be your true self, which means that you will never be loved for who you truly are. Such a relationship is built on a lie, and is doomed to fail, or to be sadly unfulfilling at the very least.

Giving your own personal power and identity away not only leaves you feeling powerless and insecure, but it also gives power to your partner that does not belong to them. When a person is given such power, they can have a tendency to use it to control, manipulate or overpower their partner, which can become abusive.

A person who is insecure will often attract another person who is insecure. These insecurities may express themselves differently in either partner, for instance, one may be extremely jealous and controlling, while the other person may be highly self-critical, or needing approval all the time, but both are coming from a place of neediness and insecurity. Neediness is an insatiable hunger, and is not an attractive energy.

The quality that we find most attractive in other people is self-confidence (not arrogance, cockiness or narcissism, which are really masks for insecurity). This is because self-confidence is an expression of self-love, self-acceptance and security in one's own identity. A person who exudes self-love attracts others who want to love them, because the energy of love itself is powerfully attractive.

Need is not love, and two halves do not make a whole relationship - in fact, two "have-to-haves" actually make a hole in relationship. It takes two whole people to create a whole, happy and fulfilling relationship. In fact, in any good relationship, there are really three entities: the two individuals who maintain their own true identity, and then there is the relationship itself. All three must be maintained in order for there to be a happy and healthy relationship, because when one person loses their identity within the relationship, there is no one for the other person to relate to anymore.

Neediness is a bottomless pit that sucks the life and love out of relationships. Nothing external can fill the void of neediness; neediness cannot be filled by another person, or by money, or success, or prestige, it can only be filled by self-love and by Divine love. You must allow yourself to know that the Universe loves you unconditionally, and you must allow yourself to receive that love, knowing that you are worthy.

Only when you truly love yourself will you truly allow yourself to be loved by others, because like attracts like energy. The thoughts that you think about yourself send out energy to other people that will cause them to treat you as you treat yourself. Thoughts that are self-loving and self-confident are very attractive because a person who is self-loving shines irresistibly - you can actually see the light sparkling in their eyes.

A person who is insecure is often shrinking instead of shining, and their energy is contracted instead of expansive. Their posture is often slumped, and they often hold their head down and feel depressed. This type of energy attracts abuse rather than respect from others. People who are self-loving and self-confident are often successful in love and in every area of their lives, because their light attracts success to them, while insecure people often attract failure and misfortune in support of their thoughts and beliefs about themselves and their worth.

If you want to know "how to win back an ex", you must first allow yourself to feel attractive again. The loss of love and rejection can make a person feel down and dejected - although this is quite natural and understandable, it is not attractive.

Would you feel attracted to someone who is exuding the energy of having been dumped? You might feel sympathy for that person, but you would not find them attractive unless you are one of those people who is addicted to fixing others (the problem with this is that you can't fix or change another person unless they want to change, and if they do heal, then there is no longer any purpose for the relationship - they will move on to a happy, healthy relationship thanks to your help, while you will simply go looking for another "fixer-upper").

The way to attract joy and success in life in any area, especially in love, is to shine your light brightly and let yourself be attractive to what you want - but you must be genuine! You must be your true and authentic self, because you may be able to lie to others, but you can never truly deceive yourself. If you put on a false persona in order to attract love and success, you will never allow yourself to truly feel loved and successful, because you will feel like a fraud.

You must always be true to yourself - that is the very essence of self-love, and it is essential to owning your true identity. Start doing things that make you feel genuinely good about yourself. You might want to change your wardrobe, or your job, or even start doing some volunteer work. Whatever makes you smile on the inside will shine on the outside.

You can exercise, which will not only make you look and feel better, but you will also raise your energy which will give you a healthy and attractive glow. Remember that humans are basically animals, and we are attracted to strength for mating purposes, and to weakness for food - this is the nature of the beasts that we are. When you exercise, you also emit more pheromones, and we are attracted to each other by scent. This may not be pretty, but it is true.

As you start to feel better about yourself, you will become more aware of the things that give you joy. The more you do the things you love to do, the more love and joy you will attract, because we are naturally attracted to people who are joyful. Think about it - would you rather talk with someone who is happy, or someone who is depressed? At a party, which one are you going to be drawn to?

Once you start feeling better about yourself and loving yourself, you will naturally become more attractive. In fact, as you exude true self-love and self-confidence, you will be irresistible. When you recognize and honor your own worth and worthiness, others will recognize your worth as well.

You must be your true and genuine self in order to have true and genuine love and happiness. If you change yourself simply to try to please your ex, or because you think that is how to win back your ex, you are sadly mistaken. Healing yourself out of neediness and a need for love and approval is not really healing yourself at all, and will not get you the results that you truly desire. If you are asking if you are healed enough to get your ex back, then you are not really healing; you are changing yourself in an effort to change external circumstances, which is simply a manipulation.

Heal yourself for yourself, and make the changes you want and need to make in yourself and in your life for your own sake, for your own happiness and wellbeing. Do what you love to do, and you will attract someone who can share your love and your joy with you. Whether it is your ex, or someone new, true self-love will attract true love to you, and you are worth it!


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