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"HOW TO CLEANSE HOME OF NEGATIVITY" Psychic Advice Column addresses inquiries related to: Breathwork to heal negativity, Negative stereotypes old people, Mirrors deflect negativity, Addicted to stress and negativity, Exercise reduces stress, Fighting negativity during recession, How to get rid of negative energy in a house, Why do some people give off negative vibes, Stones that eliminate negative energy, How to cleanse home of negativity, Etheric negative energy, How to clear the negative energy in your life, Metaphysical ways to decrease negative energy, Using negativity to your advantage & more...


Question: "My husband, 9-month-old son and I live with my husband's father. He is a negative person, it almost comes off like he is ignorant. We will be moving out (not very soon), but until then what can we do to cleanse the house and keep the negativity from affecting us? I have bought sage to smudge and wanted to hang crystals and chimes, but need some advice as to how and where? Thank you very much."

Psychic Advice:
There are many reasons why some people give off negative vibes, and for why we have negative stereotypes of old people. Older people can tend to fear change - they like things the way they like them, and they grow accustomed to what is familiar and comfortable. Change can make them feel vulnerable, out of control, helpless and powerless, particularly if someone else comes in and makes "forced" changes to their lifestyle, even if it is for the better or "for their own good". They can respond to these changes with anger, bitterness, resentment, hostility, and rage, or they can simply simmer in self-pity, fear, mistrust, and fatalism. They fear their mortality, and they fear losing their freedom, losing their power and losing their autonomy. For some people, negativity can be a way of trying to control life and to control others.

There can also be physiological reasons for some of the negative stereotypes of old people, and for why some people give off negative vibes. Older people lose flexibility in their body and in their mind, which can also impede their ability to handle life and change with a flexible attitude. As people age, their body and brain become calcified as a result of acidity - this promotes arthritis, inflammation, memory loss, depression, and a host of other problems associated with aging. An alkaline diet can greatly assist with this problem. Just adding fresh organic lemon or lemon juice to drinking water can be extremely helpful. Cutting back on meats and adding more green leafy vegetables to one's diet is also alkalizing ( has lots of information on this topic).

Of course, any addictions to alcohol, tobacco or caffeine can increase negativity and moodiness, as can sugar. Many people do not realize that even prescription drugs can alter a person's biochemistry, and over time can change who they are and how they think and behave. This is a side effect of medication that is often overlooked, but drugs of any kind can change someone's personality and demeanor. Some anti-depressants have been known to actually increase suicidal tendencies and negative thoughts. 

Depression and anger can create negative energy that becomes pervasive in a household. Even if someone is not overtly angry or depressed, the lower vibrations that they emit can bring everyone down around them. Remember the saying "misery loves company"? If someone has lived with anger and depression for a long time, it can become their state of being - it actually becomes their comfort zone. Many angry or depressed people don't want to be happy - in fact, in a way, they are happy being miserable, and they are happiest when they can make everyone around them miserable as well. If someone is in such a state, there is nothing you can do to make them happy, and trying to make them happy will only tend to annoy them, and entrench them in their misery, which will also make you unhappy. You cannot make another person happy, but there are a few things you can do on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels to keep the negative energy from affecting you.

On the physical level, you can do breathwork to heal negativity. Instead of reacting or responding to your father-in-law's negativity, take a few deep breaths, drop your shoulders, and relax - it may be helpful to sigh or close your eyes when you do this. You can also go outside and get some fresh air, breathing in deeply to feed your body and mind with positive energy, and exhaling to release any negative energy. Encourage your father-in-law to go outside and get fresh air as well whenever possible.

Another method for how to get rid of negative energy in a house is to bring in lots of live plants to absorb negativity, which will transform that energy into life force. Keep windows cracked open, especially in bedrooms at night (even if it is cold outside) to clear the air and keep it moving. Negative energy becomes fixed and stagnant, so keep energy moving and flowing. This is true in the body as well, so remember that physical exercise reduces stress and also improves wellbeing.

Keep in mind that this is still your father-in-law's house, so you must respect his space and be mindful of this with any changes you make. The smell of burning sage might be pleasant to some people, and unpleasant to others. Burning sage or sweetgrass can help to cleanse a home of negativity - ideally you need to do this in every room, and fan the smoke into every corner.

There are other ways for how to cleanse a home of negativity that are more subtle, such as using an aromatherapy diffuser or burning incense. Using essential oils and aromatherapy with the smell of citrus fruits, lavender, jasmine, rose, and sandalwood, are all uplifting. Frankincense and myrrh are also powerful to get rid of negative energy in a house. If you have a fresh basil plant in your kitchen, you can rub the leaves to release the uplifting fragrance - using fresh basil in salads and meals is also uplifting.

You can also replace harmful cleaning chemicals with environmentally friendly citrus cleansers - these are better for your home and family, and will uplift everyone's spirits while also being better for the environment. Harsh cleansers and detergents are filled with perfumes to mask chemical odors, but these perfumes actually make you breathe in these chemicals more deeply, which is terrible for your health and wellbeing. Cleansers based on orange oil are very effective, both for cleaning and for uplifting energy.

Other physical remedies such as chimes and hanging crystals are elements of Feng Shui, which is the Chinese art of placement to shift, change and redirect energy. You can look in a bookstore for a book on Feng Shui, but keep in mind that some are more complicated than others. Mirrors deflect negativity, and are often employed in Feng Shui for that purpose. You can put a mirror on the outside of your bedroom door and on your son's door to keep the negativity out of your personal space. When working with Feng Shui, it is important to make changes slowly and gradually, one at a time, and allow the energy to shift before you make other adjustments.

The crystals used in Feng Shui are often faceted lead crystal, but you can also use real crystals and gemstones, which have been used for hundreds of years to protect against negative energy and to increase positive energy. There are stones that eliminate negative energy that you can place in your room, and around the house. Clear quartz raises the frequency and vibration of energy around it. Rose quartz increases the energy of love and self-love. Amethyst protects against psychic negative energy; it also increases intuition and connection with spirit guides and with the divine. Black stones, such as obsidian, onyx and tourmaline are very protective against negative energies of all kinds, as is tiger eye, jade and turquoise. Your father-in-law may not be open-minded to the metaphysical healing properties of these stones, but you can bring them in slowly as "decoration". If the stones start to get dull, they need to be cleansed of negative energy by putting them in a bowl of salt water under the full moon (it is also wise to cleanse most crystals this way when you first receive them). Working with crystals is a great way for how to clear the negative energy in your life.

On the emotional level, there are other metaphysical ways to decrease negative energy. The first is with the energy of gratitude and appreciation. You may not love the fact that you are in your father-in-law's house, but he has provided a home for you, for his son and his grandson, and that deserves appreciation. He is sacrificing and sharing his own space so his son's family does not have to suffer. The more you are grateful and express that gratitude, the more it will lift your energy. When you project the energy of "I can't wait to get out of here", it sends out a message that you don't appreciate your situation, and your father-in-law can feel your resentment of your circumstances, and can also feel resentful that he has put himself out for you and you don't appreciate it.

Lack of appreciation creates a prison that locks you into your circumstances until you allow gratitude to raise you up and set you free. Many people are fighting negativity during recession, and it is more important than ever to be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have. Stay focused on moving into your own home, and at the same time, be grateful for your present circumstances as much and as often as possible.

On the mental level, try not to argue with or judge your father-in-law, and don't take his negativity personally. Negativity feeds on negativity, and he may be unconsciously sucking your energy whenever he gets a rise out of you. Negative people are often energy vampires that drain energy from those around them. This brings everyone down to their level, and it is easy to manipulate and control others with anger and negativity, and with guilt and shame.

Don't disagree with your father-in-law or try to show him a different perspective, because older people tend to have a fixed mindset that comes from outmoded beliefs of another time and generation. Instead, try to understand his thinking by asking him questions about why he believes what he believes - sometimes, you can ask questions in a way that actually allows him to see that his beliefs are erroneous. However, if this is too draining for you, then simply have love and compassion for him, and wish for his mind and heart to open and expand.

You can also try using negativity to your advantage by expecting it and working with it. You could try using some reverse psychology, such as saying things like, "You wouldn't want to do that", or "You wouldn't like it", etc. If he is rebellious, he will not want to be told what to do, and will do it because you said not to.

On the spiritual level, there are several metaphysical ways to decrease negative energy, and to positively influence your father-in-law. You can visualize him surrounded in a bubble of white light which contains his energy - not only will this lift and brighten his energy, but it will also prevent his negativity from seeping out. You can also visualize yourself surrounded by your own bubble of white light to protect your energy and personal space, and you can visualize this for your husband and son as well. You can imagine that every doorway in the house is a shower of light that cleanses negativity from everyone who passes through it. You can set the intention that the bathroom(s) cleanse, shower, and flush away all negativity from everyone who uses them.

You can speak to your father-in-law's Higher Self while he sleeps, thanking him for his sacrifices, telling him how much he is loved and appreciated, and how much you wish him happiness. You can ask his Higher Self to help him to grow, evolve and be more open-minded and open-hearted. There may be karmic and spiritual reasons why you are in the house with your father-in-law: perhaps it is necessary for him to bond with his grandson, or with his son, or to heal something with you. You can set the intention that this experience is life-affirming, healing and empowering for all of you. If you can feel comfortable with the idea, let your son help heal his grandfather with unconditional love - that natural gift gives children and babies the power to touch and open people's hearts, if it is allowed by all concerned.

Remember that sometimes people exude this kind of negativity as a way to get some space by making it unpleasant to be around them. This can be your father-in-law's way of defending himself, and using negative energy to push others away since you have essentially "invaded his space". Negativity can also come from simply not feeling appreciated. Kids and teenagers act out negatively when they feel helpless or powerless, and so do older people. Negativity can be a cry for love and attention, even if they are pushing that love away and getting attention for the wrong things. Stop trying to change him, to change his house, or to make him happy - focus on your own happiness, and get out of the house as much as you can with your son and/or with your husband. There are reasons that you are all there together right now, so try to make the best of the situation - the sooner you embrace and accept this, the sooner you can move forward and move on.

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