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WHAT ARE WE SETTLING FOR SPIRITUALLY?

Question: "My question is why do some of us struggle with settling for something in our life? This is especially true for a relationship when I know in my heart that I really shouldn’t. Would you say that I shouldn't let my heart get in the way and let my gut tell me?"

Psychic Advice:
Settling is indeed a struggle - it is a battle between what your mind believes, what your heart feels, and what your gut knows to be true. People often settle for less than what they truly desire in life. This is because they are afraid they will never get what they really want, either because they fear it may not exist, or because they fear that they do not deserve to have or experience it.

This is especially true in love and relationships. People are often afraid to let go of the relationship that they have, even if they are not truly happy, because they are afraid of being alone. They fear that they may not attract anyone else, or anyone better than the partner that they have, so they decide to settle for what they've got presently, even if it means they'll never feel truly happy, satisfied or fulfilled.

Fear of loneliness is a major reason for settling for being with someone that you are not truly in love with, but just because you are not alone does not necessarily mean that you won't be lonely. There is nothing emptier than feeling alone and lonely when you are in a relationship.

Many people think that they will just hang onto their relationship until the right person comes along. The problem is that as long as you are in a relationship, you are not really available for a relationship with another person. If you do manage to attract and meet the person of your dreams while you are in a relationship, either they will think that you are unavailable, or they will think that you are willing to be unfaithful to your partner, therefore you might be unfaithful to them.

If you are choosing to settle for less than what you really want, it is important to discover why. Ask yourself if you believe that what you really want exists and is possible for you to attract. Ask yourself if you believe that you deserve to be truly happy, satisfied and fulfilled in your life. If the answer is no, ask yourself why not. You must explore your reasons for settling for less than what you want.

You must also ask yourself what are you settling for, and why. Ask yourself how it makes you feel to settle for this, and what will your life be like in the future if you make this decision. What possibilities might exist for you if you don't settle? How would your life be if you truly believe that you deserve to attract and experience what you really want? What would happen if you invested more of your power and energy in holding faith instead of disempowering yourself with fear and doubt?

It can be confusing when your heart tells you one thing, your head tells you another thing, and your gut tells you something else altogether. The best thing would be to take a walk into your future and try it on to see how it fits and how it feels. Close your eyes and imagine yourself settling for this relationship (you could also do this exercise for a job, a house, or any important decision). See yourself one year from now and get a sense of what your life is like, and how you feel in your heart and in your body. See yourself and your relationship five years from now, ten years from now, twenty years from now. See what your life will be like if you settle right now for less than what you desire and deserve. Also see how this choice affects your partner, your children, and all those in your life. Is anyone happy? Does it really serve anyone for you to settle?

Life is long and painful when one is miserable. If you are not happy, it affects your health, your wellbeing, and your ability to prosper and succeed. The choices that you make now affect the rest of your life. If you are not truly happy, and cannot see happiness in your future if you settle for less than you desire, why make that choice?

What are we settling for spiritually when we settle for less than what gives us joy? Love and joy bring us closer to our Source. When we settle for less than that, we are settling for frustration, resentment, bitterness, anger, blame, disappointment, and sometimes even self-hatred. If we settle for a job, or a house, or a relationship that does not give us joy, we will feel restless and even trapped as long as we are there. If you are not satisfied, you can never feel fulfilled.

If something inside of you is telling you that this relationship is not right for you, then it is probably not. Why invest more of your life only to discover down the road that you are miserable and that your intuition was right all along (which it usually is)?

The truth is that it can be better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. Many people choose to settle for bad relationships because they fear being alone, but a relationship consumes a great deal of your time and energy. If you wake up next to someone you are not happy with, and come home to that same person, how can you be happy at home? And if you're not happy at home, how can you really be happy in your life?

We all deserve to be happy, and we deserve to make the choices that will support us in our happiness. Make sure that what you think you want is really what you want, then allow yourself to believe that you deserve that. Envision yourself having the happiness, the relationship and the life that you deserve, and feel grateful for your ability to attract and create it. Have faith in true love, have faith in joy, and have faith in yourself. Have faith in your own worth, and don't settle for less.



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